Tips on insulting people over the internet

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Since everyone who insults me seems to think they're actually upsetting me and i'm just hiding it by laughing rofl

I hate how every time someone says something hilariously weird that is meant to insult me and I post it in a journal because, well it's just so funny and i don't think they meant it to be, that they get all their friends to post on me saying "YOU'RE JUST INSECURE, DON'T TRY TO COVER IT UP"

well, no, if i was insecure i would probably be writing a journal about how mean they are and how i take everything seriously, including really funny insults from STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET

yeah, this is the internet.
-Why would i bother wasting my energy getting upset about what someone i have never and will never meet says to me?

Now, if someone in real life called me a DUMB ASS LOBOTOMIZED WHAT FEOTUS or a AUTISTIC WEEABOO FAGGOT i would probably just crack up laughing because of how fucking ridiculous they sound
So, why shouldn't I do the same on the internet?

Seriously, if you're going to insult me, here are some tips to avoid looking really stupid.

1. Don't target how bad my art is
I know I'm not bad at drawing, I did get a scholarship to art school last year for my drawing with only 200 people in my state, so yeah, if you tell me YOU KNOW NOTHING OF ANATOMY i'm just gonna be thinking, well i think art school would know better than some 15 year old on deviantart, sorry

And another thing, this is the dumbest way you can possibly insult me if you draw worse than i do because you make yourself look even worse. Best not to have art up on deviantart if you want to insult my drawings :D

2. Don't make your insult really long and full of adjectives
the more adjectives you have, the stupider you sound, and the funnier it is for me

3. READ OVER WHAT YOU'VE SAID BEFORE YOU POST IT
Now if you've read over what you're saying and it still seems like a good idea to post "YOU DUMB ASS LOBOTOMIZED ABORTED DEFORMED WHALE FETUS"
Then maybe you should get a friend to read over it, because there is no way that isn't hilarious

4. Don't tell me my art is just a pile of glitter and rainbows
um, NO DUH. what do you expect me to say to that? I do know i draw glitter and rainbows...

5. Don't tell me what I draw is disgusting and shocking and i'm a terrible person blah blah blah
Why the fuck do you think I draw rainbow kids with their guts falling out? to shock people, and getting a comment like that lets me know i've done well!

6. Don't resort to just telling me i'm ugly and you've seen my photo
I may not be miss australia but I'm definately not ugly, and telling me you think i'm ugly is really obviously just a lame attempt at a comeback when nothing else you've said has worked, it makes you look desperate, and you don't want that when you're insulting someone!

7. Don't call me a weeaboo
Because i'll just be thinking... huh? o_0
99% of my gallery is original stuff or commissions, there are only a few fanart pictures in there, and even less that are from anime, I may be influenced by manga but that doesn't mean I'm obsessed with japan... i don't watch anime and i don't say "kawaii" so yeah, after that insult i'm just left thinking "this person really has no idea what they're talking about"

8. Don't tell me that I've sent all my watchers after you and that i'm weak
No, i never send anyone after anyone, i don't give out names other than a very rare occassion when it will help me tell the story, and if my watchers have "attacked" you, then maybe you shouldn't have posted such a retarded insult on my page where they could see it rofl

9. I've already mentioned this, but don't even try telling me i'm insecure.
As a furry lover I once met told me, I have an impenetrable concrete ego
I don't really have an ego, but I am secure and if i have a reputation for having a massive ego, sure, why not, you can think that if you like

10. If you really want to upset me, here are some things you might consider saying instead of the above
"your art looks like kesha" "so I heard you like led zeppelin" "is that regrowth i spot in your hair" "your art isn't even colorful"
THOSE THINGS WILL MAKE ME RUN OFF CRYING... or not, actually, probably best not say those either because i'll still laugh


And lastly, PLEASE DON'T FOLLOW ANYTHING I'VE SAID IN THIS GUIDE.
I love getting your creative insults so much that if they stopped being funny the only thing i'd be upset about is that i couldn't post them in my journals anymore.

You'll never penetrate my concrete ego, but please keep trying because your efforts are my entertainment on deviantart! (:


© 2011 - 2024 XXAnemia
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z0mbieheart's avatar
...Fuck...To...The...HELL FUCKING YA!!!!!! I wish to take you to my school for show n tell hahahah